First Trimester Update: Pregnancy Is Scary

Guys! I am so blown away by all the love and support that Logan, Baby B, and myself have received these past weeks. The second I found out I was pregnant I wanted to tell the world so it was so hard keeping this secret to myself (and Logan!). I asked you guys whether or not you were interested in my journey and the answer was yes, so here it is. I’ve honestly been so hesitant so share my journey because 1- people are so judgmental and 2- not everyone that follows me is a mom/mom to be, so I don’t want to alienate y’all. But part of blogging requires you to open up to your readers and share your life, so that’s why I’m writing this.

I’ve learned to get over the Internet trolls so if my posts can help at least one person, I’m happy! When I first found out I was pregnant I googled SOOOO many blog posts! It’s easier to connect with an actual person and read about what they’re experiencing in their pregnancy journey versus googling my symptoms! And yes, I am aware everyone is totally different and we all have unique experiences and symptoms, but it’s nice knowing you’re not alone.

How have I been feeling? Great but anxious/nervous! I was lucky enough to not experience any symptoms in my first trimester and even now that I’m at 17 weeks. I had occasional heartburn in the beginning and some light cramps as well as being tired. That was about it, although it’s so weird to WANT to experience pregnancy symptoms. I don’t feel pregnant at all that sometimes I wish I had those symptoms just for reassurance to know something is growing in my belly. I’ve seen my little boy twice now on the ultra sound and know he is there moving around with his little heart beating! The first trimester is all about anxiety and what ifs! You don’t get to see the doctor until week 8-10. Also I had no idea you start counting your weeks from the first day of your last cycle! I was counting down until that first appointment to see my tiny little baby the size the of a brussel sprout! It totally is super crazy how much love you have for something so tiny! I’ve loved baby B just since he was the size of a poppyseed and a bunch of little cells!

How did we find out the sex so early? Technology these days, I tell you! My mind has been blown every single time I go to the doctor. Baby B went from a size of a Brussel sprout to an apricot in just two weeks, they grow so fast! We decided to do the genetic test at week 11, which also lets you know the sex of the baby. Because I am an anxious person, I wanted to get the test done just to prepare myself for what’s to come. That one week of waiting for results is the worst! It took a lot of praying and distractions to get myself at a good place. There’s no better feeling when the doctor tells you you’re in the clear and in the low risk category! They also emailed me letting me know they had the sex of our baby but didn’t share. I called them right away and was like PLEASE TELL ME! It’s so funny nowadays people are all about a gender reveal. When I called the doctor to find out the sex of our baby they were like are you sure you wanna know? You don’t want to come in and get it in an envelope for it to be a surprise? No way! I’ve always wanted a boy first but obviously would be happy with a girl as well! Idk if because having a boy was on my mind this whole time but I always thought it was going to be a boy- when they told me I was pumped!

Do we have a name picked out? We do! We agreed on a middle name a long time ago even before I got pregnant. If it was a girl we were going to give her my grandmother’s name as her middle name and for a boy it would be Logan’s grandfather’s name, Blaine. Blaine passed away March 10th 2017 and my due date is so close to that it couldn’t be more perfect. Crazy how the circle of life works huh?

Any cravings? Sweets! It’s crazy because I’m not a dessert person! I’ve been craving all things sweet- ice cream, cinnamon rolls, cheesecake, everything! I was on a strict diet before I got pregnant in June but once I found out, that diet went out the door! I knew I no longer would be training to have a six pack so I wasn’t as strict anymore lol. I do need to get better about eating healthy though, because I need to feed baby B all the nutrients he needs and because I don’t want to have to loose a lot of weight after the baby.

Getting Real. Lastly, you’re probably confused about my title “Pregnancy Is Scary” but I wanted to be completely honest with you guys! Not many people talk about it but it’s something a lot of us experience. First of all, getting pregnant is not as easy as everyone might think. While we are very grateful we were not one of those couples that struggled getting pregnant, it’s become pretty common for women to not be able to get pregnant right away and it’s scary. You have no idea what to expect and experience a lot of stress. And then you have to deal with other people asking you when you’re gonna have kids or how is it going if you’ve mentioned you started trying. I was not ready for all the questions and pressure, which is why I kept it private.

Second, once you are pregnant, you don’t get to see the doctor until 8-10 weeks as I mentioned earlier. So this whole time you’re wondering if everything is going okay, is the baby growing, am I going to have a miscarriage, etc. It feels like you’re never really “in the clear” until the baby arrives. We didn’t choose to share our news until after our ultrasound and genetic testing, so it’s very hard to not have someone to talk to during this time.

Third, this is specific to my journey but since I haven’t experienced any symptoms I’m constantly wondering if I am really pregnant. I do feel lucky everything has been going smoothly but there’s always that worry. You’re always counting down to that doctor’s appointment and the ultrasound. Everyone’s body is different and you start showing at different times. My belly just started to slowly grow, but that was also something I was waiting for for reassurance.

Once the news it out, you feel a little better and it’s nice having a support system. I have a couple of friends that are moms so I have them to talk to as well as my own mom! Every day is a blessing and I am so happy to be on this journey. I can’t wait to meet this little guy and see what he looks like! I want him to be an exact replica of my husband, both inside and out. My husband has the biggest heart and is the nicest person I know. His parents did a great job raising him. I’ve never met anyone that didn’t like him. I want our son to be just like that and be the kid that sits with the lonely classmate at lunch time.

If you’re currently struggling with getting pregnant, know that my heart is with you and God has a plan for you.